Badger, California May 20, 2004
Tridandisvami Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja
[Brajanatha dasa:] This devotee came to see you many years ago. He wanted to take initiation, but he didn't do so yet. He is very qualified in making videos and recordings.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] One cannot be happy by making videos and engaging in other worldly activities. He should know who he is. What is your name? Is your name the name of the body or the soul?
[Devotee:] Body.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] What is your designation? Who are you?
[Devotee:] The soul.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Have you realized something of this? How tall you are - or whether your complexion is black or white or golden? How strong are you? Do you know? You should try to know by entering the correct process. You should first come in this process Don't waste your time. If you are not realizing yourself, you have no intelligence. You cannot be happy. You cannot be happy. You cannot be happy
harer nama harer nama
harer namaiva kevalam
kalau nasty eva nasty eva
nasty eva gatir anyatha
"In this age of quarrel and hypocrisy the only means of deliverance is chanting the holy name of the Lord. There is no other way. There is no other way. There is no other way." (Caitanya-caritamrta Adi-lila 17.21)]
But there are so many kinds of chanting of the holy name. There is suddha-nama (purest name), then pure name, then nama-abhasa (shadow of the name), then nama-aparadha (offense to the name), and so many variations in each category. Not everyone is chanting the pure name. One pure name can give you krsna-prema. Nama-abhasa will not do so, and moreover, our chanting of the name is not even nama-abhasa. We think that without Guru our chanting of the name will be the pure holy name, but it is nama-aparadha. If you remain with me, although I am chastising you
Actually I am not chastising you. I am weeping as I tell you to realize this fact. I am also weeping for the cows. They don't know that they will go to the slaughterhouse tomorrow. You are in that class as well. If you do not engage in bhakti, tomorrow you will go to the slaughterhouse. So don't waste your time.
[Srila dasa:] Regarding the lady disciple of Ramanujacarya in the drama performance last night; if she had some desire to enjoy with that merchant, would she have done what she did?
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Her only obligation was to her Guru, and therefore Sri Ramanuja wanted to glorify her to this world - that a lady disciple can be like this. She had no obligation to her father, mother, husband or anyone. She decided, "I must go and serve my Gurudeva. I am not this body or this false ego. Let this body serve Sri Gurudeva." She had to think whether guru-seva is the highest morality or worldly morality is the highest. She decided "there is no use of chastity if it doesn't assist in my Guru's service."
[Devotee:] When is one justified or qualified in severing one's material obligations for the service of Guru and Krsna - because if one has some motivation he falls down.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] There are so many symptoms. Words alone - "I want to serve" - will not do. The devotee must be very strong - like the lady who decided, "There is no use of chastity if it doesn't serve my Guru." Her self-realized Guru therefore empowered her, and that is why, when she gave his prasadam remnant to the lusty food-store owner, he was at once purified and gave up his lusty desire.
[Devotee:] Sometimes Srila Prabhupada gave initiation through tapes. When I received the tape through the mail, it was broken.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Were you satisfied, or not?
[Devotee:] I took siksa from you.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Why did you take it? You were not satisfied by the mail. If you had taken direct diksa initiation then you would have been satisfied. There is some effect in taking initiation by phone; it has a greater effect if it is taken by direct glance.
[Devotee:] So, can I still consider that I have taken diksa initiation from Srila Prabhupada? Because the tape broke, the temple president, who wasn't even following the regulative principles, told the mantras to me.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Connection with bona fide initiation in that way is far away, far away, far away.
[Devotee:] How can we increase our guru-nistha?
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] I have discussed the answer to this question day and night, ands still you raise the question. Follow what I explained yesterday in class, and the day before. Read Jaiva-dharma and all my books; and read Srila Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaja's books. Throughout Bhagavad-gita and Srimad-Bhagavatam guru-nistha is discussed.
Can you at once give your head for Guru? No. We have given our head. When our Gurudeva desired a special service, we gave our heads (we were prepared to sacrifice our lives to accomplish that service), and that is why he gave me his causeless mercy. I am not telling that history here, but I gave my head.
Parama-pujyapada Srila Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaja did this also. He was dying on the steamship that was traveling over the ocean to come to America. You should realize this. We can at once give our heads, our life and soul. We know that, "My soul is immortal; I am immortal; I am transcendental; I cannot die."
Transcribers: Vasanti dasi
Typist: Anita dasi
Editor: Syamarani dasi
